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本單元提供有關待人處事之相關文章
by 趙永祥, 2018-10-04 07:52, Views(578)


你所堅持的究竟真的是原則?還是自己的偏見?


如果對任何事都堅持自己的想法才是對的,堅持要用自己的做法。只管自己,別人的建議和商量,都不願意接受,也不願意為任何人改變,不替別人設身處地著想,到最後可能於人於事都會造成傷害。你以為這是堅持「原則」,其實不是!你所堅持的,不過是個人的偏見,這就是「我執」。

堅持原則,是指自己所堅持的,也會為其他人所接受;不僅現在的人可以接受,未來的人也可以接受,甚至過去也曾經被人接受過,這才叫做原則。

做人有做人的原則,做事有做事的原則。做人的原則首先要「保護自己」,可是保護自己並不表示要傷害他人;考慮自己的同時,也要尊重他人,自己受益,也希望對他人有幫助,秉持彼此互惠互助的立場,這種原則才是對的。

做事的原則,應該要以大多數人的利益為考量,如果所堅持的原則,是出於自私或為了少數人,或貪圖一時的方便,這就是偏見,就是執著。

但許多人經常分不清到底是「擇善固執」,還是把個人的偏見當成了原則?其實,只要觀察別人對這件事情的觀感,就能判斷出究竟是偏見還是原則。


如果你的想法和做法,讓每個人都覺得受不了、很痛苦,每個人都覺得那是錯的、有問題的,只有你認為是對的,那很可能就是偏見。能夠符合每一個人或是多數人共同的的想法和意願,那才是原則。

原則並不是一成不變的,它會隨著時間或區域環境的不同而有所改變,唯一不變的是:一定是為眾人著想,能夠為大家所樂於接受的。

執著偏見的人,就是我執太重。我執會帶給我們很多煩惱,因為自我意識太強,自我中心太堅固,就會堅持自己的性情或想法,全身如同刺蝟般長滿利刺,「稜角」很多,動則傷人,而無法圓融待人。


結語

我曾經與我的班導生說過:

「做人處事要內方而外圓」,「內方」就是原則,「外圓」就是不傷人。

雖然在心裡有一定的標準,可是當需要變通的時候,也不要執意不變,食古不化。必須要有一些善巧方便,觀念想法適時地轉一個彎、換個角度,或是多用同理心、柔軟語,這樣才不會讓人覺得你很難相處,事情才容易成就。
by 趙永祥, 2018-09-24 04:56, Views(336)




Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.


Benjamin Franklin began and ended each day with a question: "What good shall I do this day?" in the morning, and "What good have I done this day?" in the evening.

In fact, many great thinkers embraced the idea of constantly questioning things.

As Albert Einstein reportedly said, "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning and learning."

Of course, getting into the habit of self-reflection is easier said than done, as we often prefer to avoid asking ourselves the tough questions. As philosopher and psychologist John Dewey explained in his 1910 book, "How We Think," reflective thinking involves overcoming our predisposition to accept things at face value and the willingness to endure mental unrest.

But enduring this discomfort is well worth the effort, as it can result in the confidence boost necessary to perform better in our work and daily lives.

To help kick start your habit of self-reflection, here are nine daily questions you can start asking today:

'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?'

In 2005, about a year after he received his pancreatic cancer diagnosis, Apple's then-CEO Steve Jobs told Stanford's graduating class that, for 33 years, he would look in the mirror every morning and ask himself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?"

If the answer was "No" for too many days in a row, he says he know he needed to change something.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important," Jobs explained. "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

'How do I see myself?

"This questions gets at your likely unspoken beliefs about who you are," writes Wanleo.comfounder and CEO Deena Varshavskaya on Quora.

She says that changing how you see yourself in various situations can also change your actions and, ultimately, who you are.

"An example: if you see yourself as an unproven entrepreneur, the focus of your actions will be to prepare for later when you are more proven. By changing this to start looking at yourself simply as a hard working and capable entrepreneur, you can change what actions you take, who you chose to speak to, and so on," she writes 

'What is my biggest strength?'

VaynerMedia CEO and cofounder Gary Vaynerchuk writes on Quora that asking this question is the key to loving your job.

As he explains, so many people have jobs they hate because they haven't found their true passion yet. "They are good at a few things, so that's what they do here and there, but they aren't sure what that one big thing they want to do forever could be," he says.

"Stop doing stuff you hate. Nail down your strengths so you can discover your passion," he advises.

'What pain do I want in my life?'

Happiness requires struggle, as well as an understanding of what we are willing to struggle for, writes self-development blogger Mark Manson.

"What determines your success isn't 'What do you want to enjoy?' The question is, "What pain do you want to sustain?' The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences but the quality of your negative experiences. And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life," Manson explains.

'What was different then from now?'

If you're struggling to start a new habit, "Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives" author Gretchen Rubin suggests thinking about a time in the past when you successfully changed your behavior.

Asking yourself, "What was different then from now?" can help you figure out what factors helped you successfully change your behavior in the past so that you can emulate them going forward.

"If you set it up in a way that's right for you, you're going to have much better success," Rubin told psychologist Ron Friedman at the Peak Work Performance Summit.

'How are you doing?'

Quora user Michael Hopkins writes: "It's silly, but it all started when I watched an episode of 'The Tick' where the Tick travels on a quest inside his own mind to seek the answer to any one question. When he finally meets his inner being, and can ask any question he wants, he asks something like, 'How are you doing?'

"I took from that a very profoundly meaningful lesson: At the center of each of us, this is the most basic and truest and most important question. It leads to so many internal conversations that we would all be better off having with ourselves each day."

'Why so serious?'


"I tend to fuss over little things and don't feel quite alright until I get them done in the manner I desire," writes Quora user Soham Banerjee. The question is a good reminder to us all not to take life so seriously all the time and can help put things in perspective.

"And also, asking that question in the Joker's voice is fun," he notes.

'What went well today?'

Harvard Business School professor Francesca Gino and her colleagues asked workers to spend 15 minutes at the end of their workdays writing about what went well that day, and they found that the journaling employees had 22.8% higher performance than those who didn't ponder on their workday.

As former Tech Insider reporter Drake Baer points out, reflecting on the day's successes can help you incorporate those lessons into the next day. "It's like the process of 'iteration' that startup folks are always talking about. You introduce a stimulus, gather the data of your experience, and then improve from there," he writes.

It's worth noting that study participants didn't simply think about what went well, but wrote their responses down. "It's very easy to deceive yourself if you're just thinking about it," Gino notes, "but when you write things down on paper, it's easier to identify what's helpful."

'Do I pick partners and friends who support me, challenge me, encourage me, and help me grow?'

Quora user Nela Canovi says: "There is a saying that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Think about the people in your life. Are the people close to you helping you grow as a human being? Or do you spend time with people who don't respect their own time (and therefore won't respect yours), who drain your energy, who are negative and only like to complain, and who exemplify a 'fixed mindset' instead of a 'growth mindset' so that at the end of the day you struggle to understand why you don't feel happy and energized around them?

"Be selective about who you keep in your inner circle of friends. Surround yourself with people based on your common interests, your values, the things you consider important to your personal growth, as well as how you value time, knowledge, and friendship."





座 右 銘

和勤奮者在一起,你不會懶惰;

和積極者在一起,你不會消沈;

能與智者同行,你會不同凡響;

能與高人為伍,你能登上巔峰。

凡事盡其在我,但求無愧於心 ;

凡事包容忍讓,自能身心清安。


 
Yours Sincerely : 趙永祥
Web version : 9th Version, February-2015  Established since March, 2003
 

 

by 趙永祥, 2018-09-24 04:55, Views(281)


以利相交,利盡則散;以勢相交,勢敗則傾


**********************************

習近平在澳門的一場重要演講,引用一句非常經典的話:


以利相交,利盡則散;


以勢相交,勢敗則傾;


以權相交,權失則棄;


以情相交,情斷則傷;


唯以心相交,方能成其久遠


合伙做事也好,人際交往也好,都應珍惜緣分,珍惜時光;
以善為念,學會感恩;
以誠相待,以心相交!


與高者為伍,與德者同行,必得智慧與善果!


by 趙永祥, 2018-09-24 04:50, Views(246)


邁向成功系列之01  成功需能耐得住寂寞 

從「竹子哲學」看如何「邁向成功」之道


竹子哲學,但世上卻有多少人熬不過那 3 公分⋯

現在就來看看,你忍不忍得住這三公分….


竹子有四個主要器官:

一、竹根

竹根是竹子最堅硬的部份,由側芽可以生竹筍成竹稈。

二、竹稈

竹稈為中空有節,成長迅速,是竹子最具有經濟價值的部份。

三、竹葉

竹葉扁平先端形狀尖銳,底部鈍形或稍具圓狀,具有落葉性。

四、竹筍

竹筍是竹自根基生出的嫩芽,為竹籜所包裹。竹筍又稱竹胎和竹芽。

*******************************************************竹子的一生

竹子的開花是一種自然的現象,也是表示竹子生命快結束的一種徵兆。
一般竹子在要開花的前一年,即不長筍,開花後,竹稈在一、二年內就會乾枯死亡,但在竹稈枯死後,竹林仍會繁殖下去,因為竹子的地下莖沒有枯死,而且落地的種子也會生根,經過五至十年後再重新長出幼苗,但是竹子開花的週期很難預測,從三十年到百年以上的都有,甚至有的竹種沒有開花的紀錄。


*******************************************************竹子的成長過程

竹子用了4年的時間,才僅僅生長了3公分。

卻在第五年開始,以每天30公分的速度瘋狂的成長,在這個衝刺期,僅僅用了六週的時間,就可以長到了15公尺。

竹子用了 4 年時間扎穩根基…

*******************************************************
感悟分享


本人對此一篇文章有以下感悟:

其實,我們看不到的是在前面的四年,竹子將根在土壤裡延伸了數百平米,紮實了根基…..
就像做人做事一樣,不要擔心。其實,我們看不到的是在前面的四年,竹子將根在土壤裡延伸了數百平米,紮實了根基…..

就像做人做事一樣,不要擔心。

你此時此刻的付出得不到回報,或是看不到成長就放棄,因為你的付出都是為了紮根。
突破竹子的極限,你就是有做大事的特質。

那麼,做大事的人,有什麼特質呢?

能夠成就一番大事者,需具有10項人格特質

1、忍得住孤獨

2、耐得住寂寞

3、挺得住痛苦

4、頂得住壓力

5、擋得住誘惑

6、經得起折騰

7、受得起打擊

8、丟得起面子

9、擔得起責任

10、經得起考驗
by 趙永祥, 2018-09-24 04:49, Views(241)


【垃圾人定律】

生命的10%是創造,90%是在於我們如何看待接受並解決事情


快樂、成功的人
絕對不讓【垃圾人】
接管和影響自己生活當中的任何一天!


人就好像垃圾車,他們帶著垃圾到處走
總是充滿著負面評價的貶意詞語的垃圾
隨著心中的垃圾堆積再堆積,然後當他們的垃圾袋堆滿了
他們需要找一個地方傾倒掉,而我們只是常常剛好被碰上了...
他們便把垃圾往我們身上丟...


人生短暫,絕對不要浪費心思和精力在這些事上!
不要和垃圾人一般見識!



傳播一些積極正面的信息,讓世間多一點愛
就可能照亮無數人的命運!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26kro3lPUEI